Gandhi - Epidemic and Illness

In current times when information flows incessantly from all directions, it is easier than ever before to feel a little lost in the flood that such information creates. What furthermore complicates the problem is every source of information has its set of vested interests, biases and limitations.

In order to be able to assess all this objectively and stand up – against this maddening flow of information and mis-information,  I thought to look up someone with a distinct expertise in standing one’s ground against all sorts of pre-conceived notions, forces from media and rulers as well as his own idiosyncrasies as an individual  - M.K. Gandhi.  Although there are hardly any direct parallels from the times when Gandhi lived and the current situation, there are a couple of episodes that provide useful reference. They are noted here in brief.

Ø  Outbreak of Plague in Johannesburg

Most Indians in Africa were staying in places that was commonly known as “Coolie location”.   One such location had an outbreak of pneumonic plague.

On receiving the news of an outbreak to 23 individuals at once Gandhi reached at the location and took it upon himself to serve the sick. He used one of the local municipality’s building and turned it into a makeshift hospital.

He also criticized the government and appealed to them for providing as much support as possible to prevent the outbreak from spreading further. He selected individuals who were comparatively healthier and had no other family members to take the nursing responsibilities and even spared the government nurse from coming in direct contact with patients.

His duties were routine and limited to following instructions from the doctor and providing with basic needs and cleanliness of the patients. Since he was attending active patients – he chose to self-isolate himself and consciously avoided his friends and associates during this time. He also was inclined to keep a very light diet during this time and followed through on it rigorously.

Of 23 patients only 2 survived – rest of the patients along with the nurse succumbed to the disease. However, the doctor, Gandhi and his volunteer friends did not catch the plague. In days that followed, it appears that the location was put under similar arrangements that we see today in quarantine areas, “The location was put under a strong guard, passage in and out being made impossible without permission. My co-workers and I had free permits of entry and exit. The decision was to make the whole location population vacate and live under canvas for three weeks in an open plain about thirteen miles from Johannesburg, and then to set fire to the location[1].”  Although difficult – but he was able to get a consensus among Indians to agree with the plan from the municipality and everyone shifter to live under canvas. Gandhi played a role in suggesting people to take care of their savings, helping them open bank accounts and ensuring that their savings were not squandered in this quick and sudden relocation.

His ability to find things that are of help to others and start executing them in an organized manner is amazing.

Ø  In a chapter titled as Near Death’s door in his autobiography Gandhi outlines his experience throughout one of the longest and most severe illnesses he had to go through. This period coincides with another outbreak – that of the Spanish flu – however experts believe he was not ill with that flu[2]. This episode, therefore, becomes relevant for people suffering illnesses other than Covid-19 currently.

As someone who did not take fondly to outside medicines’ use – Gandhi staunchly stuck to his own methods in treating himself. He refused taking either medicines, injections or even milk – (he had avowed to avoid milk from cow and buffalo). Although he later acknowledged that his denial of injections was based on incorrect information and he should not have avoided them. It is important to note that denial of medicines did not mean denial in getting well – he constantly tried approaches he was okay with and consulted several doctors to come up with a treatment that was both – in line with his principles and effective but he refused any compromise – even if it meant risking his life.

What strikes me most as a reader during this chapter is the fact that Gandhi treats his illness as a subject of study – and finds within himself the possible causes of illness. His view might be called too harsh on himself – at times viewing pain as a necessary result of his own actions – but they are not without a basis – he was able to observe his actions that triggered the disease and work towards correcting them. He was also candid in acknowledging that he had become so weak that he almost thought he died – despite doctor suggesting that his pulse was fine!

He also uses the illness as an opportunity to reflect and rise in his understanding of himself. To be able to view himself as objectively as he does - is inspiring! While his level of staunchness in his methods might be unwise to emulate, what we can aspire to achieve is his devotion in studying himself objectively.

Re-reading certain parts of his autobiography certainly helped me take a different perspective of things as they stand!  

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[1] https://www.mkgandhi.org/autobio/chap94.htm

[2] https://www.telegraphindia.com/opinion/gandhi-at-the-time-of-the-spanish-flu/cid/1766054

Probably what liberals in India (and possibly in US) are missing….

Cable networks in India run a dedicated channel to broadcast Narendra Modi’s interviews and his campaign run up to the Loksabha Elections, supreme court does not find his mention of Armed forces in political canvassing inappropriate, all his promises from past election like job creation, reduction in black money and growth have receded among the infernal din of his national security rhetoric, political jibes and another set of lofty promises. His party has declined to make the list of its source of funds public – despite strong push on transparency and accountability.

And yet he continues to enjoy soaring popularity among Indian voters - at least for now. This popularity of a hard-liner candidate is not a stand-alone case in democracies around the world today. Flag-bearer of democracy, United States too, has its own Narendra Modi in form of its current president Donald Trump! Israel recently re-elected a leader with similar traits and Brazil too elected a strongman in Jair Bolsonaro.

There are Indians who find Modi annoying, obnoxious and even fascist. They portray him as a threat to India’s democracy and constitution. They shout at the top of their voices against him, try to engage in debate, debunk the lies of the government, appeal to people’s reason and hope that they would be able to somehow change people’s mind about him. It is important to realize that people have chosen these leaders for a reason and first step in defeating or moderating the hardliner at the helm is to defeat the hardliner within us. We must remember that Modi or any hardliner leader is not a problem, he is a symptom of a problem that plagues majority of the people. Simply exposing the problems with his leadership is rather narrow a goal that reduces national issues and priorities and ultimately harms the nation.  

For example – we see widespread criticism of terrorism in Kashmir, but hardly see any effort on integrating Kashmiri youth with the rest of the India, we debate vigorously of widening wealth inequality but hardly focus on giving our children more equitable life experiences, we complaint of increasing intolerance but don’t branch far out and consciously make diverse connections. All these and many other participatory actions can be taken around the year – not just at the time of elections.

The process of globalization and economic growth has now become a fatal combination of rising expectations and reducing opportunities – therefore it is natural for anyone with or without resources to act conservatively about them. This situation leads to the popular political slogans of India (Any other country) first. The only way around this tightening noose of hardline leadership is to work towards increasing education, enriching diversity and expanding the understanding of economic growth.  Practicing and spreading simplicity can also go a long way, not just from economic but also from environmental perspective.  

This road is long – and it may take a long time before we may see any result – but it is worth walking on it.

My two cents!

In 2014 I voted for the first time in India’s national elections. Little did I know that when next time India holds its polls I will be sitting in another country and may not have the bandwidth – economic or otherwise – of going back and casting my vote in one of the most vibrant democracies of the world.

Distance often makes it difficult to see things clearly – but sometimes it may also allow you to see things in different light – and therefore I feel that even without voting, I need to express myself to all the friends, relatives and family members who will be voting in India’s next general election.

·         This election is not about saving India’s soul

Anyone who claims that this election is about saving India’s soul – probably considers India’s soul too weak, fixed and simple. While such an expression may make people feel charged up, there is hardly any credibility to it when we stop and think about it for a couple of minutes. What is India’s soul? I don’t know a certain answer to this but surely it is not a fixed thing that can be stolen or broken – because soul evolves, transforms, grows, subsides and goes through the same cycle again and again. This very nature of soul - and its liveliness makes it difficult to even grasp and control a soul of one person – let alone the entire nation.

·         Need for Chowkidaar

It is a very common political ploy to instigate a sense of fear among people, to make them feel unsafe and therefore look for leaders who can provide a sense of safety. The term Chowkidar – a guard – being currently used to suggest that somehow, we as a nation need someone to protect us. We must not fall for such tactics – and must not let fear overtake our common sense. This technique is very similar to those used by Donald Trump during the US presidential elections. India and all its people are strong enough to take care of themselves and need no one to look after them.

Another reason why this need for a guard seems ludicrous is – somehow it leaks an air of superiority of the ruler over those that are ruled. It is exactly opposite of the concept of “Swaraj” on which India had based its freedom movement.  

Let us remember that we are a country of over a billion people, different ideologies, diverse culture, varied skillsets and wide range of opportunities ahead of us. Let’s vote for the basic issues and concerns that touch our daily lives – when each one of us does that – the national picture will automatically start shaping well.

A famous political leader named Ram Manohar Lohia’s quote is also worth remembering - sarkar tave ki roti jaise hoti hai, usko palat tey raho nahin toh jal ke raakh ho jayegi – the government is like a roti that needs to be flipped on the griddle or it will burn. As a first time voter, I did not do a thorough study but just cast my vote for a different party than the then ruling party - and if I were to get another chance, I would probably do the same this time as well!

Letter to a Malawian protesting the statue of Gandhi

If Gandhi’s statue affronts you in any way, it should not be built. As someone who has not only known Gandhi as a father of the nation but also explored his life as a matter of historical interest, I can be sure that had he been alive and asked if his statue should be made or not – he would have declined building a statue and suggested possible better ways to spend the resources reserved for building such a statue.

When going through the details of your protest online and learning about the historical references behind it – I felt a strange familiarity with them. A search that I had started to find counter-arguments with an intention to talk you out of your protest soon made me realize that perhaps we both are making a same mistake. A mistake of taking a part of someone– and considering that part as a whole version of that person. We make this mistake even worse by forming opinions based on our fragmented versions that we consider to be whole. I am not trying to tell you that you should understand Gandhi more fully – please don’t misunderstand me. I am just saying not to feel hurt by taking a specific piece of history outside of its entirety.

It is this mistake – that politicians around the world capitalize to their own advantage. Not just in any one country, across the world – the tendency to take a small part of someone and come to a full judgement of their value has been the weapon of choice for many demagogues. India and Africa’s shared history of British Imperialism also show such selective view – that somehow considered British rule better than the home rule for both these colonies.

This mistake is also at the very core of racial prejudice we see around us. Be it against people of color, migrants, minorities from religion, sexual orientation or opinions – all forms of discrimination have at their root this tendency of taking small part of a group and using it to project a full image of that group. Those of us who have suffered such discrimination – owe it to ourselves – more than anyone else, not to succumb to such fallacies.  At personal level, such a tendency can have negative impact on way we understand other people around us. Therefore, if time permits - try and tease out what exactly is hurting within you and find a way to heal it. I have no say whether there will be a statue in Malawi, but if it is of any help – I wish they don’t build it.

Personally, I don’t think truth and non-violence needs anyone’s statue to prove their worth. Nor they are property of any country, individual or a group. In some sense, your freedom to express the opinion and the exchange it results into – is a better tribute to Gandhian spirit than any statue and in that endeavor, I wish you well.  

Gandhi

Albert Einstein famously said of him that “Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth.”  And it is to reduce the distance of disbelief that I write this article today, to remind myself of Gandhi and his way of life.  

To unify and galvanize people across geography that would eventually make 3 different countries, religions, castes, age and different economic backgrounds was a mammoth task. And Gandhi almost did it effortlessly.  In a world that was already exposed to warfare between countries, adopting, staying and keeping a whole country on a path of non-violence during its freedom struggle was a massive achievement. 

Just to put it in a perspective, think about how often you successfully influence the opinions and behavior of members of your team at work, or your friends or family members! 

A lot of things come to mind when one tries to analyze what all Gandhi did to gain such an unparalleled influence over people of India at that time. He focused on doing small things right, was honest in his dealings with others as well as with himself, he thought about those at the very bottom of society – antyodaya – his idea of rule of law was that it should benefit those at the bottom of the pyramid first. He led through examples and action, not just words, and always put himself behind the people. 

While all of this and more may be true of his leadership and political abilities – the most important aspect of Gandhi’s leadership was that he connected enlightenment to the common man’s life. 

Gandhi was a unique confluence of progressive ideology and spiritual enlightenment. Before Gandhi, India had many spiritual leaders, characters and teachers – however their message and methods were hard for a common man to even understand – let alone follow. Many things were left open to interpretation, while leaving things open to interpretation is important in its own way, a major drawback of that approach is that it suffers from being elitist and esoteric. 

Gandhi identified tools for enlightenment. These tools were inexpensive, required no special skills to use, were available to everyone and were verifiable instantly!

These tools were “Truth and Non-Violence”, to me – identifying the root of spiritual progress in these two elements is almost as great a thought as the one from Buddha in which he identified root of unhappiness in desires. 

Norwegian Wood - A Book Review

“How wonderful it is to be able to write someone a letter! To feel like conveying your thoughts to a person, to sit at your desk and pick up a pen, to put your thoughts into words like this is truly marvellous. Of course once I do put them into words, I find I can only express a fraction of what I want to say.”

Above portion from the book seems equally relevant to writing a book review for Norwegian wood, a love story from Haruki Murakami. This book is distinctly different from his other books that I have read. It involves no tear or gate in space and time to travel to the other world and remains strongly tethered to the mortal world we all know and live in. However this aspect doesn’t limit the book in anyway. 

Story of this book revolves around a boy named Toru Watambe and his journey from adolescence to adulthood. It poignantly describes the dilemmas of growing up. Toru struggles to reconcile the differences in world he sees ahead of him and the one he sees behind him. The world ahead is constantly barraging him with larger than life success, living on one’s own terms, and a quasi immortality created and fostered by popular culture. Whereas the world behind has a gripping memory of loss of his friend Kizuki to death, guilt of being in a relationship with Kizuki’s girlfriend, his other adolescence romances and the eternal urge of staying seventeen forever. 

Post Kizuki’s death, Naoko and Toru come close for a brief moment, however things fall apart as Naoko further sinks in grief and has to be transferred to a mental institute for treatment. Toru finds himself conflicted whether to wait for Naoko to return to normalcy or to move forward with other romantic interests that life may bring to him. 

Through wide range of characters the book’s story transcends from just love story to a wider narrative about current times. For example, character of Nagasawa shows to Toru difference of hard work and manual labour. Nagasawa is shown as supremely successful young man who always believes in staying one step ahead of the time to ensure he can position himself at the right time at a right place. Toru contrasts his input to the condition of a man on deathbed who has worked just as hard in maintaining a book shop and raising his daughter. If that man did not get a chance to check what was ahead of him and place himself to leverage that, is it really his fault ? 

Another interesting character is Midori, a girl Toru finds attractive. She is the one who lends Toru much needed relief from his emotional conflict between waiting for Naoko and moving forward with life. Even by the end of the book, we are not sure which road Toru finally took, but one can definitely say that Midori was the only source of comfort when Toru found it very hard especially after Naoko succumbed to suicide. 

Story of this book brings many other characters that touch readers’ lives, Reiko, Storm Trooper, Hatsumi - all of them are brief yet able to offer a glimpse into different parts of human psyche with which readers can connect easily. 

Murakami’s strong understanding of human nature reflects throughout the book, and provides soothing assurance of finding beauty even in most dark moments of life! 

Italicised part is taken from the book. 

From Sachin Tendulkar to Steve Smith and David Warner

Ball tampering incidents from Cape Town test between South Africa and Australia brought back long forgotten and discomforting memories of 2001. Though consequences in both the incidents were vastly different - there are underlying commonalities that tie these two events. 

These common threads are important to understand how we succumb to human frailties and cross a boundary of propriety to suit our own prejudices. How we are swift to transfer a truckload of dormant guilt of our own many little misdeeds to those who are a little more vulnerable than us to such accusations. 

When Sachin was accused of tampering with a cricket ball during a test match in South Africa, I was a teenager and like many other teenagers there was nothing that could have made me believe that there may be some merit to those allegations against him. Far from a possibility of any debate, I was closed to any information which may oppose my long held adulation and love for the living legend.  I was not the only one to be closed to hearing the other side of the argument - it turns out entire country was in the same position. Such an unparalleled love and respect we have for our icons. There is absolutely nothing wrong in this kind of love and respect to our heroes. However this makes our heroes victims of our love. We start looking at them more as gods and forget that they are humans too. Sentiments of a teenager who used to bunk classes by lying about stomach ache were used to determine whether or not a particular sportsman erred in his conduct during a cricket match or not. This seemed perfectly fine back in 2001 to me as it suited my prejudice however looking back at it now, it seems ludicrous!

Steve Smith and David Warner found themselves on the wrong side of such sentiments last week.  Though their acknowledgement of error was valorous and worthy of praise, it did not go down well with the public opinion in Australia, a country which idolises its Cricketers. People from Australia and around the world were quick to latch onto the confession as a tool to offload their own guilt to him. Australian culture idolises their cricketers and place them even higher than the national leaders in the hierarchy of public figures. It is said that Australia had a cricket captain before it had a prime minister! It is no surprise therefore that people feel betrayed when their heroes fall. However justified the public anger may be, it cannot be and should not be used as a tool to pass judgement on persons accused.

Ball tampering (planned or accidental) in cricket is no different from exaggerating one’s qualities on a resume to land a coveted job. It is no different from flattering a boss or someone in position of power to gain an advantage or curry favours. It is no different from lying about stomach ache in order to avoid school. 

One has to agree that sports heroes have some responsibilities to their fans and followers and need to be held accountable for their actions when they overstep a boundary set by rules however to use the intensity of public emotions to determine the degree of their misconduct is grossly unjust towards the sportspersons involved. 

We must support cricketers to receive a trial that is free of public emotions and perceptions in order to determine the severity and sentence of their misconduct. This is not only important from their point of view but also for ours - as we would not have any place if the same standards were employed to judge our own daily actions! 

Photo taken from google search

https://www.google.com/search?q=justice&safe=active&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjKptCcpZnaAhWBVN8KHYFkAi4Q_AUIDCgD&biw=1275&bih=635#imgrc=nd47eRwkEvCpcM:

1Q84 - A book review

There are times when you suddenly wake up in middle of a night with a feeling of being gripped in a sort of dream that you find almost impossible to recall with any exactness. There is a rush of lot of thoughts, feelings, images and emotions but anything hardly concrete enough to survive complete consciousness.

Reading 1Q84, Haruki Murakami’s 1157-page book, is like experiencing such a dream. There are multiple strands of story in the book involving its lead characters – Aomame and Tengo. Aomame is a professional killer of men who abuse women while Tengo is a math teacher and an aspiring author who unwillingly becomes a part of literary scam by ghost writing a book called “Air-Chrysalis”.

Tengo and Aomame have a romantic connection and the undercurrent of their desire to meet each other fuels the story forward for large part of the book. However, it will be unfairly simple to see this book as only a story of long lost lovers finding each other in midst of a chaotic and complex world.

Book delves very deep into each of its characters and runs through their routine with meticulous, at times boring, details. Through this thorough examination and detailing of each of the characters it successfully brings out many marvellously multi-layered themes. A few of these themes are noted below with its brief description of how they pan out in the book.

Mysterious cult life : Known as Sakigake in the book - the cult represents classic characteristics of all cults like secrecy, power play and engaging in activities that are shady if not totally illegal. Sakigake is also shown as the cause a character known as FukaEri  lost contact with her parents. Its leader is also accused by another character of a heinous crime like child molestation. Aomame is tasked to kill the leader of Sakigake for this very reason.

Little People : A fantasy like beings who come out into the world from a dead goat’s mouth and are powerful enough to slightly shift the yarns of the world in order to cause much havoc in the life of book’s characters. They are probably a rival to “Big Brother” in the classic 1984 novel, or may be just a reflection of our collective consciousness. Author leaves the final interpretation to readers. 

NHK fee collector : Through this character we learn a lot about a life of common man in Japan, his frustrations, fears, challenges and reactions. His troubled relationship with his son, Tengo , is poignant reminder of how people of one considers closest drift so far apart in the usual turns of life. His conversations with Tengo towards the end of his life reveal the core vulnerability of all humans, inability to understand one’s own complex and often conflicting self. 

1Q84 Parallel universe : Title of the book is a wordplay on title of another very solid novel 1984 by George Orwell. It would be unfair to see this book in shadow of 1984. Title 1Q84 merely suggests questioning (Q) the sense of  characters for their reality. Story is set up in the year 1984 but the characters slip through a passage which basically turns their worldview upside down. Readers get an indication of parallel world by existence of two moons! It serves as a spooky yet very vivid and concrete indication of something totally fictitious. The fact that it is in “Other world” is the ultimate and overarching explanation to all things non real in the book. 

Justice or Revenge : Through character of an old lady who runs a safe-house for women who are abused by men book highlights themes of justice and revenge. We learn that dowager had lost her daughter in domestic violence and then taken up the cause to champion for other women in similar situation. Aomame is also driven to collaborate with her by similar experiences of one of her good friends. Their work invoke crucial questions whether ends justify means in today’s world? What are differences between revenge and justice?

The weird thing about half remembered and half forgotten dreams is that though you think you remember them well enough to be able to recount them over a cup of tea in morning, it is only after a blank stare from your family members that you realise that it wasn’t probably a great idea to try explaining it in first place. The best you could do is to merely suggest them reading 1Q84 when time allows. :) 

PS - In times like right now, it is an amazing feat to write a book so long, and only for so successfully achieving that feat, I am a fan of Murakami!

1984

In a world swarmed with fake news, claims of advertising used to mislead huge mass of people, leaders leaning towards pugnacious use of political power, omniscience of machines and increasing unrest of the common man – George Orwell’s classic novel serves as an effective mirror – even after 6 decades of its first publication.

Book is centered around story of Winston Smith who is a member in a government’s department called “Ministry of Truth” – their work is to carefully twist facts and purge anything that contradicts government’s current propaganda. Winston is a hard-working member of his team; however, he does have a small defect; he is prone to have secret thoughts – and is even courageous enough to record them in a small diary! This defect of his is considered a serious crime in his nation and is frowned upon with utmost disgust. Term for this defect is – thought crime.

In Oceania, Government controls every aspect of life of all its citizens. Where even thoughts are scanned and assessed for their loyalty to the ruling party, any kind of deviation is strictly dealt with. Perpetual presence of Big Brother – and his watch over its people - make it very difficult for Winston to continue his journey of thoughts. In a world where none of his friends see or even feel the oppression that Winston is fighting, makes his battle for freedom rather poignant.

Julia – Winston’s love is also a partner in crime with him against Big Brother’s tyranny. She initially sends him a note expressing her love and it is indeed her candid expressions that validate Winston’s own desires against the indoctrination of the party.

Their love affair is a passionate one, and indicates how even the strongest means of propaganda fail to reach most intimate areas of human minds. They continue to breach the Big Brother’s regulations and meet each other stealthily. As their love for each other grows, they try to increase the reach of their rebellion and explore if there are other people in Oceania feeling the kind of discontent they have felt.

In this attempt they run into O’Brien, a member who calls himself to be aligned to brotherhood – an alternative ideology to that of Big Brother. O’Brien’s character is marvelously multi-layered, and it is only in the end that readers come to know him as an ally of Big brother who had been spying on Winston and Julia since long time.

When   they get caught – Winston and Julia are taken to the Ministry of Love – what ensues thereafter is a gut-wrenching torture and indoctrination of both the lovers. They are tortured with their worst fears, and that too continuously – it reaches to such an extreme where Winston – with his face covered with hungry rats - confesses to torture Julia instead of himself.  “Under the spreading chestnut tree, I sold you and you sold me.”

After the torture – Winston and Julia are back to being loyal members of the party, they have forgotten about their emotions and ideas – even ones that they thought were outside the reach of the government. Their love and freedom, shine only briefly during the book and overall backdrop remains despotic, dark and dubious.

As a romantic supporter of democracy, I fancy a different end to this story. I imagine, somewhere even after the atrocities of Big Brother, there would be always more Winstons and Julias rooting to taste the freedom from ever expanding propaganda – and more and more of those would find ways to successfully come out of Big brother’s shackles. 

Dear Denver

Dear Denver,

It has been long time since we parted ways, but it took time for that feeling to sink in, and hence the delay in writing this. 

Your mention has a power to light up the beginnings of any conversation however I have been observing that the account I have to offer is weak and lacks the strength to live up to the image that you have created for yourself.

Soon after your mention people expect stories of great adventures, heavenly natural beauty of Boulder and victorious accounts of climbing the fourteeners that you are so famous for. Unfortunately I have few of the above experiences to offer - hence my account of Denver seems at best - boring  to people I encounter. 

While one cannot do much to correct fleeting impressions one creates during formal exchanges over a cup of coffee or at cafeteria , I could certainly set the record straight for both of us at least, just so you know that without experiencing any of your widely celebrated and popular aspects too - you are still the best place to live in the open wide world for me. 

I haven't been on top of the mountain - but I have been fortunate to witness the closeness you have shared with people around you, have seen a mountain from a porch of a friend’s home and have heard stories where people mark a specific spot on your wide bare back to tag it to one of their own personal memories!

I haven't seen the most beautiful of your gardens, flowerbeds or places - but I have seen the beauty created by two individuals who come together to start a new life under your ever generous, serene and caring sky. Evening walks under your sky are memories that will be forever fresh in my mind. Conversations that took place on your roadside benches or at a neighbourhood park are so close to heart - and I have no doubt that after long enough time elapses, those conversations will still be vivid in my memory. 

I haven't tried my hand at any adventure sport but I have been fortunate to witness courage to grind out routine life as well as the courage to take tough calls when time demands. I have witnessed, during my stay there, friends and colleagues who stand by your side even when going is especially difficult and challenging.

Through friends and colleagues, I have witnessed big events such as childbirth, purchase of house, marriage and relocation. I have also seen routine things like change of seasons, pleasure of discovering a new flavour of ice-cream that one falls in love with, colour of the evening sky and beauty of a full moon. And both types of experiences have been amazing in different ways!

You may say that all of them would have still happened, and yes that’s true - but believe me it would have never been the same without you! 

May be you would say that, by not doing certain things, I have not made the most of my time with you - but then that was never the point in first place!

If it’s not too much inconvenience, I would continue to recount you through these things rather than more popular ones - as these are closer to heart and hopefully more enduring! :)

As Ever,

-Dhruv

Who was at fault? Part-1

The humiliation of defeat had really been hurting the rabbit, why it fell asleep at crunch time in the race? Why did it let the tortoise move ahead of itself when it was clearly the more efficient of the two competitors?  Why did it not realize that the race was only for half a day and once won, it could have easily slept as much as one likes? Was it plain hubris or there was something more to it?

Forgotten to all of us at large, to rabbit – these questions were still fresh. It was a wound that is kept close to heart. Though passage of time could not completely heal it, it certainly gave a little distance, in memory –to allow a new perspective to seep in.

In telling and re-telling of the story through ages, the focus of narrative kept tightening around laziness, hubris and recklessness of rabbit. Occasionally some story-tellers also tried to build a fabled re-match which the rabbit won triumphantly! However, that fabled version could not erase the marks of an actual defeat.

A rabbit entered a competition once again after centuries – and the night before the match it sat down taking stock of its thoughts! Then came a eureka moment for that rabbit and all of a sudden it realized how every time a story of that match was told, it conveniently ignored all that had happened before the match!

It went to sleep – as the next day it had some competition. Days passed, however, the complete absence of any details prior to the match day kept bothering this rabbit! It questioned elders, read all various accounts but nowhere found anything that would satisfy its curiosity.

Having exhausted all available resources with rabbits – it started asking other animals and birds and soon the word had started spreading about this rabbit’s incessant inquiries into a long gone historical event!

All the hoo-ha eventually faded – rabbit was getting frustrated. It started thinking that this whole quest to check what had happened a day before that much talked about match was an exercise in futility! May be, it was just the recklessness and laziness of rabbits that resulted in a shameful defeat! 

There seemed no sense to spend any more energy in unearthing evidence to counter the long-held opinion. Just when it was about to draw a curtain, it got a phone call from a sparrow!

Sparrow, in a very hushed voice told rabbit, “There is something that I need to tell you. I think it may offer some relief and a sense of closure to your ongoing quest of more information into what had really happened during the run up to that match.”

Rabbit told that it would be better if they could speak in person, it took sparrow’s address and went there to talk.

Sparrow drew a long breath and started,

“The rabbit playing that match had a sparrow friend, since they did not speak the same language – there was a little bit of miscommunication between the two friends on the night before the game. I have a doubt that this miscommunication may have something to do with the way rabbit slept during the match!!”

To be continued.... :)

The last man standing

“You are an ideal mother,” I told him more than once, in a gratification of his efforts to keep us all on track!

Cook of our first meal in the US, first one to own a car that all others used to learn driving, first shout from everyone in case of any issue, first one to know when tea is light on sugar and vegetable dish is a bit too heavy on oil, first name on all our apartment leases, first one to know if any one of us was unwell in any way! And the first person I had consulted about my –then unexpressed to its recipient– love to my wife.

Four of us were sharing an apartment during our on-site stint at Denver, and Satish was from the very beginning – the provider of the house.  It was his caring attitude, culinary-skills and friendships with all the rest of us that proved to be a glue that held us all together.

Especially in the beginning of our stay in Denver, when the time was quite eventful. Starting from the struggle to know routes to matching the grocery requirements according to different colleagues who would be helping us for lifts to and fro the grocery stores. Meticulousness in payment of rent, insurance, utilities on time – and to divide all those expenses among the flatmates judiciously required close monitoring and careful execution. He did that all in starting, and then once he had known end to end – started delegating tasks to others, even after delegating – he would still keep a watchful eye over the task and ensured that everything goes smooth.

These were the tasks that could have been neglected as routine at worst - or done with a machine-like regularity at best! But Satish not only did them better than the best possible way, he did them with an emotion that was unmatched, unique and sublime. He did them in a way that our apartment started feeling like a home!! It has been over 8-12 months now, from the time we started separating from that apartment, one after the other however we carry with ourselves that feeling of home and it has never left the dynamics of our friendship ever since!

Satish was also our go-to man for any issue – be it at a household level or at a personal level. He was a sole broker of peace deals when any one of us was cross with another! Nudging someone, coaxing the other or sometimes just ordering a decision with a firm conviction – he led us through many of those complicating issues that are part of any group’s existence!

Even after we separated from single apartment to different places, as most of us moved with their families, Satish stayed a constant common factor. Be it an important event in anyone’s life, or a trouble that needs help at the stroke of a midnight – Satish was sure to be there!

As being the last one today, living in the same colony and seeing Satish move to a different apartment – I reflected on the time spent together. It feels like a beginning of a different era – one in which all of the former flat mates are now located at different places – separated by long distances.

It is an amazing joy to find unadulterated connections in one’s adult life. Satish’s friendship and the bond we built as flat-mates are constant reminders of such unadulterated connection! It has rubbed off on many other aspects of all of our lives and it would continue to serve as a wonderful reminder and inspiration of such friendships in future too!

What's in the name?

“You have got a perfect name, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Said her father reassuringly. For Aomame her name had been a constant point of botheration of her school life. Not only it always came first – as it started from A – but it also made her classmates as well as teachers burst into a fit of laughter as they tried to pronounce it.

Clearly, a name lifted from a towering Japanese author’s intriguing work of fiction 1Q84 – did not go that well for a small town girl in India. However, her father had been an iconoclast – and followed his rebel heart while naming his daughter. The fact that she lost her mother, right at her birth, also might have been one of the reasons his father could have his own way and gave her a name that she would grow to resent.

As years passed she grew more and more uncomfortable with her name. Ideas to change it several times crossed her mind but every time the effort of changing all the documents that are attached to oneself seemed too much.

“What were you thinking when you finalized my name?”  “Had you seen the movie namesake a night before I was born?”  “If mom were there, she would have never approved of such an out of place name.” Thus ran her frequent angry arguments with her dad. Her dad used to calmly reply, every time that her name was kept after the name of a heroine of a wonderful novel and that the character was very powerful. He even suggested she reads the book, however, the size of the book daunted her and she never picked it up.

Years passed, not easily for Aomame- at every juncture, every new meeting, she would feel shortchanged when introducing herself. It was as if, she was pulled back at the start of a sprint by a good few yards! Her frustration only grew with her age.

She eventually married a guy her father had chosen for her. Once during their conversation, he innocuously asked, “what does you name mean, by the way?” – She retorted harshly asking him not to repeat this question ever again. “My name is a part of my life that I don’t want to share with anyone, so please don’t ever ask my anything about it again.”

Her husband was taken aback by this vehement response, he realized that this was perhaps a result of anger accumulated over the years and needed a different treatment. He resolved that he will do something that will make her love and remember her name fondly.

Over the next few days, however, he observed she was keeping very occupied. When asked what she was busy with, she replied, “there is a lot of work at the office, and I am running on a tight deadline, so just busy with it.” He left it at that and started thinking what he can do in order to appease his wife’s long-standing grievance.

After a few days, an idea struck him – he got her name tattooed on his arm. When he came home, he told, slowly rolling up his sleeve, “I have something to show you, it has been on my mind for very long – and I wasn’t quite sure what I could do…. but here it is now. I want you to know that names in themselves have no meaning unless we give them any. And this is a small step to represent the multitudes of meaning your name carries for me.”

She looked at him in disbelief, and handed a new copy of the government issued identity card - showing her new name!

     >Concept borrowed from “Gift of Magi” by O’Henry

Book Review The course of Love – Alain De Botton

The course of Love – Alain De Botton

“Our understanding of love has been hijacked and beguiled by its first distractingly moving moments. We have allowed our love stories to end way too early. We seem to know far too much about how love starts and recklessly little about how it might continue.” That we concentrate far too much on beginning and far too little about the continuance of love is reflected in a question

the couple is bound to be asked, “How did you two meet?”

In this book, Alain De Botton takes us through the progress of love through a story of a couple.

Rabih and Kirsten are young professionals when they first met. Enamored by each other, after a brief courtship they decided to explore the meaning of a vague phrase, “happily ever after”. That’s where this story begins. The story revolves around touchstones of a marriage from infatuation, irreconcilable desires, challenges of raising kids etc. They understand the harrowing amounts of energy it takes to sustain and blossom a household through routine life. Lead characters of this story serve as extended case study for the author – who keeps up with his style of extended commentary on what is going on with his characters.

For example difference of opinion, between the two over which set of tumblers to buy for kitchen, ideal room temperature at night, how early should one leave for a party, positioning of blinds on window, etc. provide us a useful insight that these seemingly silly things are actually just the loose threads that tie back to the fundamental contrasts of their persona which requires better recognition and reconciliation.

It also brings out how crucial it is to be able to communicate better, author hints that were Rabih or Kirsten better communicators – one of them might have told the other in response to insistence for over punctuality that “Leaving early, is ,in the end, a symptom of fear. In a world of randomness and surprises, it is a technique I have developed to ward off anxiety and an unholy unnamable sense of dread. I want to be on time (in fact a little ahead of it) same way others lust for power and form a similar drive for security.”

The story moves on and we see other sides of their marital bliss, the sulks resulting out of their differences or their conjoined exploration of each other’s bodies. Here too, through an intricate example where Rabih mentioned that a particular young waitress crossed his mind while having intercourse with Kirsten, the author helps us tease out something very important about marriage. Rabih acts defensive and ashamed at a weirdness of his thoughts whereas Kirsten, furious at first and judgmental later- frowns at the presence of someone else even in Rabih’s fantasies.

In an alternative, better communicating versions of lead characters this scenario might have played out differently per author. Rabih might have been able to square up to Kirsten with his desires like a natural scientist holding up for colleague’s inspection some newly discovered, peculiar looking species which both of them might strive to understand and accommodate themselves to.  And Kirsten in response might have told “the nature of this particular daydream is foreign, unfamiliar and frankly not a little disgusting to me; but I am interested in hearing about it nonetheless because more important than my relative comfort is my ability to cope with who you are. I will never be able to do or be all that you want –and vice-versa but I would like to think we can be the sort of people who will dare to tell each other who we really are. The alternative is silence and lies – which are real enemies of love.

Sadly in the novel, Rabih and Kirsten just move on to things that give instant gratification – by going to a movie and then a dinner, rather than engaging with each other and thereby quelling any chance of understanding weird byways of their psyches.  

As we go further this book it turns to parenthood and children. What children have to offer us about understanding love is amazing. William, their son, for example- is pleased by rudimentary things that as grown-ups we have forgotten to enjoy. Author’s excellent description makes for a heartwarming reading, he writes, “William is an enthusiast of a class of uncomplicated things which have, unfairly, become boring to adults; like a great artist; he is a master at renewing his audience’s appreciation of the so-called minor sides of life.” Further, he adds for parenting that, “The role of being a good parent brings with it one large and very tricky requirement: to be the constant bearer of deeply unfortunate news. The good parent must be the defender of a range of child’s long-term interests, which are by nature entirely impossible for the child to envisage, let alone assent cheerfully. Out of love, parents must gird themselves to speak of clean teeth, tidy rooms, bedtimes, generosity and limits to computer usage. Out of love, they must adopt the guise of bores with a hateful and maddening habit of bringing up unwelcome facts about existence just when the fun is really starting. And as a result of these subterranean loving acts, good parents must, if things have gone well, end up as the special targets of intense resentment and indignation.”

De Botton excels in Montaigne-like close observations of the routine and banal aspects of life, such as lost car keys, professional anxieties, burdens and boredoms of child rearing etc. While he may not be the kind of great novelists one knows like Flaubert Gustav, Rabindranath Tagore or Tolstoy – in an age troubled with shortage of time, lack of patience and ever increasing need for speed he is surely one of the most useful ones!!   

The present book provides a useful perspective on how love is not just an emotion but also a skill that needs to be developed over one’s lifetime.

è Italicized portions are from the book

Meeting with Murakami

I don't think you love me anymore, my current favourite author, Haruki Murakami told me. There was no complaint in his voice, only a bit of resignation. Similar to the one that I often saw in the copy of his book, lying next to my bed - untouched for last 6 months! Guilt of not having read it, troubled me. He kept staring at the book, and said nothing. 

Just as I was about to pick the book up with a resolve to complete it cover to cover; my flatmate shouted with frustration! “When will you ever become a regular at Gym?, because of you, even I have become irregular.” His accusation had no basis - but it still hurt. Excess fat in my body was visible. Suddenly a scene from recent cricket match came in mind, when I got run out while attempting a second run. 

There was a strong urge to run, keep running, until I became fit and fast! I told him to wait for a couple of minutes while I get ready for the gym. Not more than 15 minutes on the treadmill I stopped and returned home - tired. 

First thing to come to sight was the unopened book, and the disappointment on Murakami’s face. However, I brushed them aside and moved for shower.

After shower, as I was about to start reading, calendar buzzed - reminding me of an additional assignment I had taken at work. I snoozed the reminder for 5 minutes and picked up the book - half hoping it will never let me go back! 

Since next day was a Sunday, I thought to pull an all-nighter in order to finish the book. However, there was just one thing that I was equally resolved to do that day; it was to talk to my parents at length. Routine leaves with little time at hand and candid conversations can hardly take place - so for such personal conversations weekends are more suited. After an hour long , deeply satisfying conversation - I finally turned my mind to the book again. Shortly after, phone again buzzed - this time with an email , it was a third reminder for paying the electricity bill for the month. If I don't pay it now, it will get further delayed, I thought, and opened the computer again to make the payment.

While I was making the payment, my favourite film actress appeared and told me about her newly launched TV series being shot in US! It was exciting, so I thought to watch an episode of the show. 

When tiredness meets temptation, it is very difficult to resist. One after another, episodes kept streaming and before long, it was one hour past midnight. I finally turned the computer off. 

For the next 15 minutes, I struggled between the book and sleep - finally sleep survived.  

He waited till two of clock, then finally, walked off in anger from my room with his book! I ran behind him, asking him to forgive me and return the book.

“I just need one day, I just need one day” - I was shouting, but he disappeared! Perhaps he knew that the one day I needed might never come!

Suddenly I woke up with perspiration! This is how Murakami met me in a dream. 

If you were here today....

If you were here,

If you were here today, visiting this lake on a chilly winter afternoon, I would have told you that even when none of the trees have any leaf left on them, a park can look very serene and beautiful sometimes. I would have told you that trees, just like humans, appear to be a little tired at times,  especially after spring, and when you sit beside them quietly, they might just shed a tear or two on your shoulder too. 

If you were here, I would have told you that the way squirrel runs around, makes one think that in squirrels how does one tell old and young apart? Sure enough scientist would know of ways, but to naked eye, their agility and health seems almost same whether they are young or old!

Two people, at a distance, walking with arm in arm evokes a certain degree of warmth and happiness even though they are complete strangers to you. 

Picture courtesy - Ramchandra M S

I would have told you that though poles apart, for the differences in geography, natural scenery across the world have something common among them. Mountains always make us feel our existence and therefore, our problems are tiny compared to theirs. Sunsets always an elegant reminder of how endings can be beautiful and always followed by new beginnings.  Lakes always impart a sense of calm and collected composure, even when the water in them is frozen in patches. 

                                                                   

I would have told you all that and one more thing perhaps, that even in midst of all these non-human and natural elements, if there were a few humans in my thought you were one of them,if that is any indication of our friendship, in any way.  Overwhelming as natural scenery may be, we have a way of putting a human touch in it - perhaps a suggestive of the fact that we too are a part of it in a larger picture. 

Tuesdays With Morrie - By Mitch Albom

Have you ever shivered a little before making any phone call? Ever put off a phone call or getting in touch with someone for many days, months or even years? That confrontation which we so dread, is often the confrontation we all most need. 

This confrontation may be in different forms, sometimes it is with people you fear you have let down, sometimes its with ideas, sometimes its with self reconciliation. In this book, author takes us through his journey of confronting series of such ideas that we normally put off during day-to-day life. His teacher, Morrie, who is dying of ALS becomes his guide through the journey and helps him see things with a refreshingly different perspective.

Mitch is fairly successful professional, a self made sports journalist who has everything that takes to win in the world, skills, understanding, connections and hunger for even more success. He has a lady love in life too, whom he intends to marry sometime. He considers himself happy and when asked “Are you happy?”  usually his reply would be, “I guess, I cannot complaint.” Though successful he struggles with finding meaning of life, purpose of existence and shies away from thoughts of death, sympathy, empathy and compassion. Until he met Morrie once more. 

Morrie cuts through Mitch’s defenses with deft of an old lover, one after the other and helps Mitch face some of the bigger questions of life which he had been putting off until now in guise of getting more work, more money, more success. The fact that Morrie is suffering from ALS and is diagnosed to die in a few months, makes their journey even more poignant and inspiring.

Morrie reinforces some of the timeless truths which we all know but only some apply. He crusades against following advertised values, cautions against expecting that material things will yield us any solace, advises to keep close with family members and friends. However it is not so much what he says, but how beautifully he exemplifies all that he says makes this story wonderful. For example, when during a football match, when everyone in stadium was shouting - we are number-1 , we are number-1 - he got up and asked a rhetorical question to the crowd, “What’s wrong in being number-2?”  Or his insistence on holding a living funeral for himself, because he wanted to hear the good things people had to say of him while he was alive and not after his death. 

While it comes across as a book filled with bright spots Morrie doesn't feign positivity or happiness at all. When asked, if he laments his condition, he candidly answers that he often cries in morning for having this disease which is killing him slowly. As much as he is sad of his health, he never allows himself more than a few minutes of self-pity every morning, after that he thinks about the day ahead, all the people who he is going to meet today. Morrie’s daily quota of limited self pity is such a contrast to everyday cribbing we hear constantly from people around us about far more routine stuff than their life. 

Another very inspiring aspect of Morrie’s character is that he gives everyone his complete attention. He defers phone calls when in an in-person conversation, and maintains a very doting eye contact with his audience despite his flailing health. In an age where personal space is so intruded with gadgets his was really an amazing example of how to go about talking to people in person. 

Book is replete with such examples of everyday events that we often neglect and avoid. It also provides a new perspective towards death and shows a more welcoming, warm and friendly approach to that eternal truth of everyone’s life. 

Like all great teachers, Morrie offers a lot to learn and think - his last class was on life, it had no textbook or curriculum, there were no exams and learning from that goes on for anyone who has been touched by this book.

Tolerance is not same as temperature

Tolerance is not same as temperature – there is no ready, reliable or consistent measurement for it. This immeasurability, and consequent subjectivity is central to the current debate surrounding the issue. One of the most eminent and successful Bollywood star made a public remark that sparked a wildfire among Indian Internet users and like many such debates on internet – this one too seems to be going down a rat hole.

In paragraphs that follow, there is an attempt to view this episode from a slightly different perspective.

Tolerance is very contextual, for example our tolerance to hot water while taking shower is different during different seasons. Similarly, in a society there are bound to be times when public opinion could be more tolerant than other times.  Not only with respect to time, public opinion also changes based on subjects, themes, circumstances and backdrops – it is possible that a society has more tolerance towards love marriages than same sex marriages.

Tolerance is also an evolving phenomenon – and many factors shape it continuously. A classic example of this is changing tolerance levels for issues like climate change and corruption – with increased awareness of energy crisis, our tolerance to problems effecting environment reduces, similarly as people become more aware of their own rights, their tolerance to corruption also reduces. Both these examples are, of course a welcome change. A point to note here is that by itself, reduction or increase in tolerance level cannot be an indicative of type, it has to be placed in context of subject – one at a time.  Direct verdict of either tolerant or intolerant is akin to saying someone scored 100/100 - but not knowing in which subject/field. J

Besides being contextual and evolving, tolerance is also impacted by resources available at hand. For example, if the domestic help becomes extremely costly from tomorrow – then certain outsourced chores may have to either done on one’s own or ignored – in both cases, cleanliness and orderliness of household chores may reduce – and tolerance for that will need to be increased or adjusted. J

If one were to look at an example of national level, it can be said that for a developing nation if literacy holds higher priority than space research – then tolerance towards illiteracy should be lower as compared to tolerance towards moderate or low advancement in space research. And as country’s demographics change, objectives evolve these priorities may undergo changes too.

Now that we know above points on tolerance, it makes sense to check the environment in light of these points with reference to India

1.        What are the areas where we, as a country have shown volatile approach with respect to tolerance? – besides our tolerance of Indian cricket team which changes in direct correlation with their wins/losses
2.        What are the areas where tolerance has evolved over last few years, may be generations. What are the things that our parents had to do with permission from their parents but we do it today at our free-will?
3.        What are the areas where tolerance level of society directly impacts our daily life, how much the corruption in road construction impact the price of milk we buy everyday? Are the priorities of our nation in right order – if something pressing is missing, we may want to enquire and re-align.

The fact that we are a vibrant and fully functioning democracy, is itself the biggest achievement of overall tolerance, ability to debate, reason and argue. We must treasure, protect and enhance it. Think on above three points and share your thoughts with friends,relatives and me. 

As for Aamir Khan, the expression of his spouse is not a very well-thought I believe, it is similar to an exhausted, tired and a little bit resigned feeling we all get on soupy Sunday afternoons where we think that perhaps going to some other place might be the answer to all questions we are grappling with. As almost everyone knows, going somewhere else is never an answer. In hindsight, perhaps it could be said/interpreted and circulated a bit more maturity.

And still, let’s, for a moment, suppose Aamir really wanted to leave – then let’s be sport and suggest some good countries, rather than vehement and childish demands of sending him to specific troubled countries. J

My suggestion would be Bhutan, What’s yours?