Work ethic of a washer man

Sending clothes for laundry on time can be tricky, in fact very tricky. It is one of those chores which never reveal their full potential of damaging impact until the very last moment.

Some of us complain feeling of sudden nightmarish panic, the kind which wakes you up midnight, from worrying that they don’t have any pair of formal clothes to put on for the next day at office. Some have to set constant reminders, on phone and from family members.  Some rely on the regularity of the visiting washer man for collecting the clothes. And some procrastinate this ritual till the last possible moment! – I belong to this elite club of persistent procrastinators!

First lot, those who get nightmares about running out of clean (read wearable) pairs of clothes are the luckiest. They have an inbuilt alarm which rings and helps them avoiding their nightmares turning to reality.

Second lot have to go through painful questioning everyday! “Have you given your clothes for washing?” And frankly, it is irritating. Though, quite effective.

Those who rely on washer-man’s visits are true students of economics. Ceteris paribus, they will sail smooth. J

Procrastinators have no pattern; they usually wait for the last day. They are the ones who want to leave the office urgently abandoning an otherwise important meeting but can’t really say why. Would anyone believe that “I can’t attend this meeting as I need to give my clothes for laundry, and should the laundry shop close, I am afraid but I won’t be able to come to work tomorrow”?

It can be understood that we, the procrastinators, live on the mercy of our washer man. We trust him more than we trust ourselves, for he has to deliver our clothes washed, cleaned and ironed within one day, or else the day after tomorrow, we won’t be able to attend the office, because of our meagre buffer stock of clean clothes.

Recently I changed my city, and hence the washer man was new, driven by habit, I waited till the last moment. When I gave him clothes, I told him – with almost teary eyes- “I only have a couple of pairs left with me, please return my clothes tomorrow evening. Or else I won’t be able to go to work the day after.” I also explained that if not all, he will have to at least give me one pair washed, tomorrow, at any cost.

I was feeling victorious, as I had managed to give my clothes for washing in the morning itself, so he had a good day and a half to return them. I sensed that the possible clothes crunch was avoided, yet again!!

However, next day evening, when I went to take back my clothes, I did not find him. There was no trace of the man. Mixed with anger, frustration, panic and worry, I checked with the security guard immediately. To my surprise he returned my clothes to me and told me that the washer man had to leave for his village early morning and had left the clothes with security guard.

I could understand that he would have worked late night, to finish the job. I don’t know why he would have to leave so urgently, but in my heart I thanked him genuinely and wished for his all-round wellness. He exemplified the work ethic in strange but strong way. 

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

This is one of the lectures in a lecture series called Journeys. Under this series, the professors were asked to envisage their own death and give a lecture considering it to be their last one.

Unfortunately, for Randy Pausch, it was actually his last lecture as he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and doctors prognosis said a good life of 3 to 6 months. However the things that the energetic professor said in that lecture, (written in a book) are going to stay with the audiences for a long time.

Even in the last phase of the terminal illness Professor Pausch showed remarkable clarity of thought and astuteness in preparing his lecture. He titled his talk “Really achieving your childhood dreams”.  Through the presentation he opened his life as a case study and drove home the importance of having dreams, pursuing them irrespective of the ultimate result and also enabling other people achieving their childhood dreams.

I would like to note here some personal takeaways from the book as a tribute to the man. I would consciously refrain from praising the professor because no amount of words can really make justice to his composure, craftsmanship and professionalism with which he delivered the last lecture. 

• First and most striking things was that time is a finite thing, and some day we may realize that we have it lesser than we thought. This lesson seems even more striking when someone in the last stage of a terminal illness tells you this. Act on your desires before it’s too late.   
• Next one is about the importance of hard coaches: This one is my personal favourite as being a cricketer at a junior level I have had some very tough coaches. These tough teachers are important in life as they make us stretch. They make us realize that when we think we have reached a limit of our energies, and still try, then those limits at times do expand.
• Another fascinating concept that he introduced during the talk was called “Head Fake”, it refers to a very important aspect of learning through social interaction that we have with our surroundings. For example, when a kid goes for cricket or football coaching, apart from the skills of cover driving a ball or giving clever passes he learns importance of being a part of team, giving full energies to a common objective etc.
•  Through the examples of his teaching practice and research activities he not only brought out but also emphasised on the importance that collaborative effort has in any remarkable breakthrough. He showed how being receptive to every source of information or insight can multiply the knowledge and insight of the recipient.
• Through his commitment to the well being of his family he shows immaculate sense of duty and equally good execution of the same by planning ant rational analysis of one’s situation.

Apart from these, there are so many things that cross a reader’s mind while reading this book. Be it a romantic gesture of  Professor Pausch to make the entire audience sing “Happy birthday” to his wife, or his child like obsession for the soft toys and characters of the cartoon series, or his infectious curiosity and drive for information, everything about him was so thought provoking and exciting. Indeed that is a hallmark of great teachers, perhaps. 

Bombay Days: A beginning

“There will be lot of traffic, an almost insane crowd, so be careful.” An experienced friend of mine advised when I was sitting with him a day ahead of my departure to this city of dreams. I replied with a little hubris of a newly employed MBA student, “dost, I am flying. Not going by train. So don’t worry.”

His experienced face curved a smile, perhaps at my naiveté. “There is not much of a difference in Mumbai, between the two.”   I did not pay much attention to this short remark and bid my adieu to him. It was only early next morning that I realized what he meant when he said that there is not much of a difference between a railway station and an airport when we come to Bombay.

To a first timer, it is chaotic, confusing, crowded and even callous all at once. This makes one go numb for a few minutes, however, as soon as one merges with that crowd, some of the things start making sense.  The best part of this crowd is that it gives ample space to everyone to find an identity. Whatever you are, wherever you are from, you will be able to relate with this crowd if you just have the knack to look around and find a link that can connect you to this city.

One may find links to connect to this city in multiple ways. The first morning it makes one think that perhaps the city wakes up way lot earlier than one does. This realization may come through the newspaper guy, or the professional tea-stall owners neatly ready as if they are there since long time, or the vendors selling flowers or boys cleaning vehicles or taxi drivers busy reading newspapers. It is only after some days that a newcomer realizes that this city perhaps, never sleeps.   

Initial days go in adjusting with the pace of this place. Ones with low self confidence will always feel being overtaken by almost everyone every moment. Not being able to board a desired compartment of the local train seems like a defeat to the really sensitive ones, however slowly it dawns that, this happens to everyone.  

Soon pace of local trains replace the pace of your life. One learns that trains are the best places to read newspapers or listen to music. Wisdom of travelling against the crowd is also enlightening. This one adjustment puts the newcomer rookie at par with some of the more experienced lot. Just as the rookie is celebrating this victory over the pace, some further nuances start surfacing.  And so the sense of victory starts fading a little bit, giving way to new dissatisfactions and challenges to overcome.

One learns that taxi-drivers won’t come for short distances easily and taking care of one’s belongings in trains is easier said than done.  And though you have got used to the pace, the travelling does take a toll on health in some way or the other. Slowly the fascination for WADA-PAV goes away and emerges the side effects of its overdose taken in first phase. J Humidity too starts irritating and so does frequent chants in local language, at every now and then.  

However, there is one thing which the newcomer has fully experienced by now, that is the complete freedom that the city offers to explore itself.  As one opens up a little the city just spreads its lap and lets you in, it allows one the most complete form of freedom of discovery.  

This freedom is addictive, in coming articles we shall explore various ways in which this addiction plays out.  

What I would love to learn from Virat Kohli

First thing you notice of this man is that if he doesn’t like something, he will swear at it. Regardless of the fact that camera may be focusing at him or not.

I was having a dinner with a cricketer friend of mine and he told me that Virat will cross the heights that Sachin has set for cricketing world. Being an ardent fan of Sachin, I told him that it was too early to say that with any confidence. We did not argue the matter further on statistics and facts, but a striking similarity between the two crossed my mind.

Apart from the cricketing abilities, both of them have something else in similar. Both of them had bounced back even after facing one of the most severe blows of life, death of their fathers. While Sachin’s story of scoring a hundred in the 1999 world cup soon after he returned from performing the last rites of his father is well known to the world. Little is known about Virat’s story.

He was playing for delhi when he got a news of his father’s death. And despite having been up for the most part of night, he came to ground next morning after performing the last rites. His innings of 90 runs helped his side saving a game against Karnataka.

It is correct that the stage at which both were playing were different, they may have been of different ages when the tragedy hit them, however what is common is that even in the toughest of the time both kept their commitment to cricket intact.   

I often wonder if we can keep the same level of commitment to whatever work that we are doing or not. Or should we do only that work for which we can keep this level of commitment? The answer to this question lies in the first lines of this piece.

Unless we have the courage to swear at things we dislike, we have the courage to say no, we have the courage to express the dislike, we have the guts to reject, we will perhaps never be able to find or search what we really like or work towards changing those that we dislike or despise.

I may not learn any style, looks, cricketing skills from him, but I certainly wish to learn this one quality from Virat Kohli. J

Bombay days: Prelude

There are no buildings here that remind one of the British architecture, there is no apparent awe when you tell someone that you live in “South” of the city. For people here, south has only one meaning perhaps. Most importantly, there is no marine drive. And that large sea facing you and helping you gulp down whatever that life has to throw at you.

There is also no “Local”, to help you keep running away from all those things you wish you had never faced.  Indeed I miss those days when I just used to board at Churchgate, get down at Andheri only to board again from there, just to kill the time and get some solace.

As I discussed all that I miss about Mumbai, the place where I had stayed for brief yet beautiful span of 8 months of my life, with a friend of mine over phone. She reverted by saying why don’t you explore Bengaluru a little. She sounded right, I had been in this city for about 4 months but had not explored it that well. And thus I was forced to make this comparison which I had purposefully delayed.

“But Bombay is Bombay” I would say. “You would never know what this city has to present to you until you move around” she retorted with a reason. Pursued by this logical and intelligent sounding argument I decided to give this city a chance. I moved around the city with a few friends, went to expensive restaurants, amusement parks, tourist spots. But to no avail. The memories carved out by Bombay would still outweigh this surface level delight that I experienced in Bengaluru.

No doubt on the fact that Bengaluru as a city is also very good; once the metro comes up in full shape it would be even better. Climate is very pleasing; there is not so much humidity as one finds in Mumbai. And to some people it is also a lot more comforting a place than Bombay.

Perhaps it’s the iconic status that I associate with Mumbai or the romanticism resulting from Bollywood image that city carries, or perhaps the awe of the rich and famous.  But somehow, somewhere Bombay seems a little more attractive as a place.

Though I have everything here in  Bengaluru, friends, work, apartment to stay, restaurants, amusement parks etc, something seems amiss.

It could be any of the things that I had been fascinated with, locals, nameless crowd in which I can easily merge and lose the burden of my identity, sea that takes in everything, romantic marine drive….. Or just the impression that comes to my mind when I hear, “Bombay”.

Impression, it is indeed an amusing thing, so intangible yet so strong in force, impact and effect on our mind. In coming pieces of this series, I intend to understand this love that some of us have for that city which once considered us as their residents. For a city which taught us to run and made us feel as if we were flying even when we were perhaps barely crawling.

For that place which still has its arms open for us to walk in…...   

Death of Silence

Electricity supply was gone; sun had just gone down from a heavy day’s duty, workers who were busy in renovating the walls of the room next to mine also halted their work for a while. I shut the lid of the laptop and sat quietly. At that point I realized that I had been missing a forgotten friend, silence.

In bustling routines I hardly hold on and listen to the silence. The ears are all the time occupied, mostly with music, sometimes with lecturer’s eloquence, friends gossiping, carpenter or construction workers working, vehicles racing, people in flats quarrelling or just any other sound in usual. Somehow in all these hustle bustle the silence got sidelined. Got lost.

Not only had the silence got sidelined, but also the things that usually accompanied it, slowly recede and fade away from life.  

I often think that thus sidelined; silence wants to tell me so much. It wants to answer all the questions that I have been busy finding answers to. However I have hardly let her voice reach me.

Is it that I assume her to be too dumb to be of any value through her opinions and answers…?

Or

Is it that I think the words of my silence are too, outwardly and not really applicable or relevant to the regular life that I have been so comfortable with?

Or

Is it that I have knowingly killed her, out of my fear that it may ask me some question which I can’t answer.

Or even tell me a thing or two about myself that I am afraid of listening to?

Have I really killed my silence, cold bloodedly?

We will have to wait for silence to tell us that, too…….

Reflections on an article

In order to appreciate the below mentioned points, you are requested to first read an article from HBR "How will you measure your life?" 

http://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life/ar/1

This was one of the best articles I have read in long time, and fortunately, I came across it timely. I now understand why it is put as an opening essay in the book titled “Advancing your career”.

I would just highlight the points that I ponder after reading this,

1.      Purpose of life – Does the sense of purpose emanate from sense of duty? Or is it the other way around?  A greater concern here is that in an environment where our thoughts are so much conditioned by various forms of media how does one actually realize that the purpose one is following is truly his own.

Answer perhaps only lies in talking to oneself, as the article suggests. But should not one build filters in order to keep the undue/external influences at a bay? If yes, what could these filters be like?

2.      How to spend an additional hour – The sense of achievement which author talks about is perhaps not as limited as Prof. Christensen thinks it to be. In fact doesn’t so-called “Rising Aspirations” of middle class of such vast majority reflect the same kind of bent of mind?  “It is easier to make a good living these days than to lead a good, calm and happy life.[1]” It also bothers me that at a personal level I should not confuse movement, change, growth and development. Clear understanding of what we mean by them is essential, but they perhaps evolve with time, and need to be reviewed every now and then. Most of the times we end up chasing things that we do not really want/need. Such chases, even if successful, lead to lot of dissatisfaction and frustration.

3.      On Metrics:

Does good observation skills be a guide to replace the need for immediate progress with that of a seemingly slow but even more important progress. For example, if one observes a kid’s or student’s behaviour carefully, one will surely able to see the results of even higher magnitude than the ones that are offered by a career. This can be equally true for a case of creating one’s own enterprise.

The marginal costs idea conveyed is really a fascinating way of stressing on zero tolerance on ethics, for me it was the best take-away from this article because after I graduated, I have never heard anyone (apart from couple of Gatherings) stressing on this point!!

---

[1] Philosophy of Happiness – a Video in TED Talk by Allan De Botton

Channelling Besties.... :)

Recently while reading “Last Lecture” from Randy Pausch, I came across an expression where he wrote that while he was on stage giving that lecture, he was, mostly channelling the theatrics and narration skills of his father, who too was a great storyteller.

This aspect of channelling others set me thinking about instances where I have –or wished to do at least - channelled, skills, attitude, approach and conduct of some of the most wonderful people I have come across.  Cynics may call it copying; however those with hearts often appreciate it as a mere imitation of the best by an impressionable child.

To illustrate this aspect of channelling the best, I would like to put forth following instances. While rooting for a particular idea, I would always like to channel an energetic friend of mine who has been running a creative writing website as a mere hobby since last 3 years, it takes a lot of time and effort but whenever you listen her talking about it, you never get to hear a sense of fatigue….. That’s a type of energy one would always like to exhibit while rooting for an innovative idea.

 At times when I am faced with insurmountable tasks I try to channel the determination and persistence of a friend who just completed his chartered accountancy, we always used to discuss that big things are often built, bit by bit. This allows breaking down the bigger problems into smaller ones and handling them each at a time.

Fear of loss, this is one of the things which often sound bigger and heavier until faced. It is perhaps right that one will be at one’s strongest most when faced with a big loss or adversity. Whenever this fear cripples me I try and think of the worst outcome and compare it with that of the grievous most loss faced by some of my friends. This makes me realize that there are people who have taken head on to even more difficult situations and come out stronger. This idea is fascinatingly refreshing and gives one a new perspective of looking at things.

If you are reading this, I want to let you know that – known or unknown- there is a bit of you in me. And I am thankful for it. J

Book Review- A Calendar too Crowded

As a kid we all have heard stories that were aimed at inculcating virtues, manners and good qualities. This book is a collection of stories which have a similar intent; however the only difference is that, it is meant for all of us – irrespective of what age we are.

 The book covers a range of issue facing females in our society. It raises tough questions that we have been shying away to answer as a society. The book achieves this daunting feat of raising the level of understanding and awareness about several complex issues by a very simple yet enjoyable writing across all the stories and poems.

To review this book just as a collection of story and a work of fiction would be a mistake. It is as much a piece of literature as it is of research into a social science. The depth of research that has gone into the making of this book is commendable, maturity in dealing with issues has been high class and the sensitivity in presentation is extraordinary.

Be it the confusion and frustration of a girl entering her first menstrual cycle, anger and ambitions of a young feminist who wants to change the world overnight, the fatigue of a middle-aged mother who has resignedly adjusted to the injustice of certain degree, anguish of an accomplished lady, serene satisfaction and pride of a successful housewife and many other facets of a woman’s life are covered in different stories.

The precision and careful description of every situation shows the powerful observation on the part of author, as she really brings all the scenes alive in the readers’ mind. . At times the author is ruthlessly honest which frees the book from stereotype feminist expressions which put women on either of the extremes.

 Moreover the range of expressions, issues and insights covered are also indicative of the depth and thought that have gone into making of these short stories and poems. References to the traditions and some of the characters of ancient epics also draw a useful and elaborative parallel between the social conditions of women across different times.  And the situations of protagonists in each story ensure that the author has covered the issues faced by women across the entire life cycle.

This book can be a great means to form a cogent argument for women empowerment at a societal level, and it can also be equally great help to you to understand the different roles that a woman plays your life a little better. Either ways, it serves a noble purpose.

Needless to say, it is worth reading and Sagarika has done a fabulous job!

Dhruv

Life is like that....!!

At first I did not recognize him; however his face seemed similar and known. After pressing a little harder on the memory chip, I recollected that he was my classmate from school.

On meeting him, I told him that he looked quite different in office attire and with a suitcase of course! “I have become a professional now.” He answered with a slight grin.

From his face I could gather the sense of victory he had in his mind. He had been working for a life insurance company as an agent and had done quite successfully. Later he also took up the agency work for mutual funds and other financial products.

As an MBA I have been infected with the habit of asking stereotype (yet intelligent looking) questions to all irrespective of our own knowledge about the entire story.

So I asked “what is the best and the worst part of your job?” “You MBAs are so much like each other!!! Almost everyone asks similar questions!!” He told this time with a slight disgust in his voice.

I wanted to protect the sheen of our creed, but sensing his anger I remained silent and seconded his opinion. At times people vent the anger of their failure by disparaging others, and this old pal of mine was doing the same thing.

If somebody is doing wrong, someone has to set him right! So I extended my inquiry and argument further after I thought that he had cooled off. “Questions may be similar but the way we all process answers may be different.” He looked back sternly, this time. However, I had made up my mind not to let it go this time, and elaborated on my question a bit. “What is it you think that makes your mutual fund products sell you think?” I waited for the answer, none came.

Finally, I thought to myself “One last try... Change the question a little bit more...” I asked “what do you like the most about stock markets, or mutual funds?”

“You know what…” he started answering, satisfying my hubris. “My life is very similar to that of a performance of mutual fund or Stock market over the long run, that’s what I like the most about it.” I kept quiet hoping that he would elaborate on what he just said. He did. “There may be crashes in between, due to reasons that are unfathomable, out of control or even out of imagination, but after some times the returns set the losses off. The only thing you need to have is the courage to bear the losses and time enough to let wounds heal on their own. One more thing, you should never try to understand it ahead of its time.”

I realized how Fickle is the power that we draw from our advantageous background, schooling, upbringing and qualification when it comes to stand up to some of the unavoidable circumstances that life has to offer. It’s something more than we study that really matters.

This episode taught two very significant things, first was that making inferences from limited data may be quite intelligent but it can be grossly unjust to apply that thing to individuals, we never really know what battles the other person may be fighting. And second was that life indeed is perhaps like Mutual funds and stock market, “full of ups and downs, signifying nothing!!”

A walk on Marine Drive!

It is strange how one photograph put up on facebook can send you back in time and force you to remember all that was so close by some time back!!

Titled as “Queen’s necklace” this photograph showed Marine Drive of Mumbai. This was a place where I had spent first 8 months of my professional life. This place has lot of significance to me as it was the only source of solace in an otherwise hectic and ruthless life.

Walking on this long road was one of the favourite stress busters of mine. The place has something that takes you completely off from the present problems. It makes you reflect on larger, better and more beautiful things!!

Apart from the natural and scenic beauty that the place offers due to proximity to the sea, it is also a symbol of modern day life in many ways. A long walk along that road reflects all that the life throws at us. Road has two sides, one that goes towards all the corporate offices, workplaces, shopping complexes and hotels, the other side, as we all know is a sea face. A simple observation reveals that during office hours on weekdays you see legions of people on the other side and nights give way to crowd on the sea face side. This is truly a time when everyone switches off their official side and focus on the personal one! That sea has a great role in it I guess.

The crowd that we find there is a fairly representative of all classes. The original SOBO crowd with apparels, gadgets and a pride in their walk which differentiate them from the rest of us on that road, couples – some romancing, others fighting, professionals who are just tired of the toiling day they had in office, youngsters having good time, aged ones feeling the peace, people talking on phone while walking alone, artists, hawkers (selling everything from snacks to soda), beggars, etc.

The design of the road is such that if you are walking across you would not be too far off from people sitting on the sideline in order to have a conversation in front of the sea. A silent walker across on Marine drive inadvertently becomes a passive listener to all these conversations, debates, rifts, general talks that people sitting there are having. Following are some of the choicest conversations that a silent walker still remembers, may be because they signified something more about that place, that city, and this life.

Old man (to his wife): “He’s still in early twenties, it will take him some time to find sync with life and career… you worry unnecessarily….” As one walked half retort from his wife could be heard which said “when we were of his age………”

Man 1 (to man 2): “The problem with politics is that it is always divisive, cast, creed, religion were the divides till now, going ahead there will be classes….. we will always be fragmented.”

Man 2 replied “Yes. May be…”

Boy (to a girl): Isn’t it great to be at a place where nobody knows you, and you know nobody? Girl replied, “What does it mean, to know someone?” Since no sound came for some seconds, one was forced to cast a look at their direction; soon one could see what it means to know someone.

Young man (on phone): “that’s great news, congratulations!! Of course I will come, what are the dates? Oh Oh….. I guess it will be tad tough for me to get leaves during that time, still will check and let ya know..”

All such conversations force one to speak to oneself, about life and its possibilities…. It makes us more prepared, cautious and tolerant. One of the most brilliant things it does to you lies in assurance that whatever may be your stage, situations or worry, you are not the only one in world facing it- there are many of us in this same boat called LIFE. So Brace yourselves and counter it with all the might….

Along with this comes another realization…. It’s getting late, will have to go home and sleep or else the local of 7:58 will be missed… and the subsequent one is even more crowded!! J