2 saal ki darling

We were to meet in Bombay, on a sweet morning of November. I had taken leaves for two consecutive days from office, so that on the day of our meeting I could be well-prepared, fresh, not tired by usual run of life and full of promise for days to come. 

Needless to say, I wanted to impress you. I wanted you to think that I was, in all sense of word, Mr. Right and that there was no further looking.

Our conversation was brief and you gave no hints of your opinion, except for saying that you would call back if we could take it forward.

Weather in days to come was more pleasant, mixed with feeling of hope, dreams, and aspirations tinged with fear of rejection! You kept your part of promise and called back one afternoon to say that one word – “Yes!”

Everything around life has changed – friends, politicians, public, lifestyle, and even the Indian cricket team. However you remain a strong constant through all these changes. I feel awestruck numbness when I realize that in last two years I have spent more time with you than any other human being I am connected to!

My days start with you and you run them ahead until we part late at night, only to meet again the next morning and continue our long walk on a bank of this river called life. This continuous journey takes many forms and colours.

There have been many highs and lows on this journey. Highs come from the fact that being with you, I feel more aware of myself; I see my inefficiencies more glaringly than I would have ever seen. Ability to tackle pressure, demanding environment, ever increasing competition and work in a unit were hard to come by, but you trained me well it seems. Your small encouragements helped build my confidence, I responded with all that I had and stayed up many a nights when you needed me to put that extra bit of an effort, only to delight you.  Lows are typically marked by lack of trust for each other, your perception that I always don’t give my 100% and my opinion that you have no sense of gratitude for what I give and always take me for granted.  In month of March, during the annual exercise of appraisal, we almost become like enemies thirsty for each others’ blood!!!

Despite this thorn of mistrust, we continued to spend time together, in hope that eventually it will work out for both of us in best possible ways. By now we had known each other better; you knew my weaknesses and utilized them fully to get the work done. I also had developed a robust mechanism to deal with your demands in form of formula based spreadsheets, reusable templates, friendships with experts and last but not least ingenious subterfuges. Now the highs were not as high nor were lows so down, it seemed we got used to disappoint each other, occasional effort to reinvigorate the lost lustre from either sides was seen more with scepticism than with sympathy and sweetness.

We have changed a lot, since we first met. You have moved to become dominating despot from docile darling; I grew accustomed to being discounted and disregarded in important matters and started taking pride in smaller unimportant ones, like answering back an official email with an air of authority!!  

My friends often tell me of openings for jobs in other areas; however I don’t take them up with so much zest.  May be I have started to believe that a known devil is better than an unknown.  

There will be a day when we will part our ways, and in long run we will be a very insignificant part of each other, the one which you can’t recollect with any accuracy after a decade. However, I wish to acknowledge the fact that in ephemeral times like these when things change every minute, two years is a long time and I am thankful that our association lasted this long. J