We were to meet in Bombay, on a sweet morning of November. I
had taken leaves for two consecutive days from office, so that on the day of
our meeting I could be well-prepared, fresh, not tired by usual run of life and
full of promise for days to come.
Needless to say, I wanted to impress you. I wanted you to
think that I was, in all sense of word, Mr. Right and that there was no further
looking.
Our conversation was brief and you gave no hints of your
opinion, except for saying that you would call back if we could take it forward.
Weather in days to come was more pleasant, mixed with
feeling of hope, dreams, and aspirations tinged with fear of rejection! You
kept your part of promise and called back one afternoon to say that one word –
“Yes!”
Everything around life has changed – friends, politicians,
public, lifestyle, and even the Indian cricket team. However you remain a
strong constant through all these changes. I feel awestruck numbness when I
realize that in last two years I have spent more time with you than any other
human being I am connected to!
My days start with you and you run them ahead until we part late at night, only to meet again the next morning and continue our long
walk on a bank of this river called life. This continuous journey takes many
forms and colours.
There have been many highs and lows on this journey. Highs
come from the fact that being with you, I feel more aware of myself; I see my
inefficiencies more glaringly than I would have ever seen. Ability to tackle
pressure, demanding environment, ever increasing competition and work in a unit
were hard to come by, but you trained me well it seems. Your small
encouragements helped build my confidence, I responded with all that I had and
stayed up many a nights when you needed me to put that extra bit of an effort,
only to delight you. Lows are typically
marked by lack of trust for each other, your perception that I always don’t
give my 100% and my opinion that you have no sense of gratitude for what I give
and always take me for granted. In month
of March, during the annual exercise of appraisal, we almost become like
enemies thirsty for each others’ blood!!!
Despite this thorn of mistrust, we continued to spend time
together, in hope that eventually it will work out for both of us in best
possible ways. By now we had known each other better; you knew my weaknesses
and utilized them fully to get the work done. I also had developed a robust
mechanism to deal with your demands in form of formula based spreadsheets, reusable
templates, friendships with experts and last but not least ingenious
subterfuges. Now the highs were not as high nor were lows so down, it seemed we
got used to disappoint each other, occasional effort to reinvigorate the lost
lustre from either sides was seen more with scepticism than with sympathy and
sweetness.
We have changed a lot, since we first met. You have moved
to become dominating despot from docile darling; I grew accustomed to being
discounted and disregarded in important matters and started taking pride in
smaller unimportant ones, like answering back an official email with an air of
authority!!
My friends often tell me of openings for jobs in other areas;
however I don’t take them up with so much zest. May be I have started to believe that a known
devil is better than an unknown.
There will be a day when we will part our ways, and in long
run we will be a very insignificant part of each other, the one which you can’t
recollect with any accuracy after a decade. However, I wish to acknowledge the
fact that in ephemeral times like these when things change every minute, two
years is a long time and I am thankful that our association lasted this long. J
